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Now serving 310 total puddles of vomit and growing. Viewing at a time.
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BUSY BUSY
Usually said in a high pitched voice. When you ask a co-worker "how are you today" it's such a typical response.
 
buy-in
What it will take for someone to get involved with or accept a project. Usually in comparison to their ROI.
 
c-level
Refers to the corporate big-wig level of a business. You know, CEO, CFO, etc. Sample use, "Hmmm, that's a pretty big decission, I think we'll need to take this to the c-level." It really should be the T-level. Capital "T" for "tool" - ultimate corporate tool.
 
capture
Remember, hold onto, retain. Not offensive on its own, but overused in reference to capturing data, audiences, user information, etc.
 
catch
As in "nice catch", meaning you're "on the ball" and caught something that was probably going to become a problem in the future. usually occurs the first time you're skimming a document in a meeting which a dozen people have reviewed over several months and only now did someone find this glaring mistake.
 
challenge
A problem. Simply using the word "problem" generates excessive negativity and implies there's nothing that can be done, which is often the case.
 
challenge your leader
Usually spoken by HR to encourage you to ask your boss why the hell they aren't doing their job. The assumption is you're supposed to look after them when they are dropping the ball.
 
change is good
Corporate speak for "this isn't going to hurt a bit" and then seeing a puddle of your own blood on the floor. Suuuuure. Anyway, what's perceived as change by the management rarely filters down to the resources. Most of the time it's just management stroking their egos attempting to convince everyone that they actually do anything. The only time change is good really affects resources is when it results in de-hiring, redundancies, or sunsetting. Associated brainwashing material is the video "Who Moved My Cheese?" I truly pity you if you've had to sit through this slap in the face. If you're unaware, it's a corporate video that treats you like a child with a cartoon illustrating that change is good. Try not to slit your wrist while watching. It's not worth it and besides management will just be happy that they have one less resource to fire at some point.
 
change/switch gears
Apparently to change speed at which something is being worked on or addressed. Managers love to change gears.
 
checkpoint
Project status meeting. AKA a manager's meeting to gather information so he can cook up something to report back to his supervisor... in their checkpoint meeting. And so it goes.
 
Checks and Balances
Typically used after someone has made a hard to predict error and management needs to know why they weren't looking for a problem they didn't yet know existed.
 
Circle the Waggons
This comes from the old West when Indians were attacking and Pioneers would circle the wagons in an effort to protect the women and children. In its corporate use it means to bring in everyone ever associated with an issue in an effort to protect the project.
 
circle-back
Go ping someone in the organization, pick their brain for information, then bring that information back to me.
 
CLM (Career Limiting Move)
You f-ed up and it's going to cost you. Example: Creating this website, showing it to your boss and announcing you created it on company time.
 
coach
A boss; someone who orders others around. The term "coach" has fewer negative connotations in our society than the term "boss." "Coach" indicates that the game of business is much like football or baseball, an idea that appeals to many who would have preferred to get rich that way.
 

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