: destroying corporate double talk, daily.
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Now serving 310 total puddles of vomit and growing. Viewing at a time.
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performance tuning
Improving an application or web site's speed or somehow altering the state of an organization to make things "run smoother". Could be a pathetic attempt at restructuring or simply just making redundancies or sunsetting resources.
pick your brain
Manager speak for "Take your ideas, and eventually claim them as my own if they are good; pin you for a moron if they aren't". Usually the words spoken to a resource when they've said just one too many things to make themselves sound like an expert in an area. A manager then wants to also gain that expertise, but really only wants your original ideas. "Pick your brain" also doubles as "office rape". Be vigilant (watch your ass).
Not what you think - to contact someone as in "to ping someone."
An imaginary thing that's usually filled with work, resources (existing or potential), action items, etc. Usually a pipeline's content is possitive though thus producing a virtual boner when it's full.
pitch (or throw) over the fence
shed yourself of responsibility by dumping your work on someone else.
plate (what's on your plate)
This is a dining/eating reference in regard to how much work you currently have going on or how much is on your plate. Usage: "I can't do that, I have too many projects, my plate is full."
Proof Of Concept.

Piss Off Corpy.
point of contact (point person)
Someone who is the voice for an entire team or subgroup. Effective points of contact often maintain that they are "out of the loop" when challenges occur.
To fill in a blank space/box on a form.
position it
A substitute for "I'd say it this way..." or "I'd put it like this..." Example use, "I'd position it to..."
Term overused by No-Ops to make a conversation or action sound more important than it really was, e.g., "I had a very positive discussion with bla, bla, bla...." Oh yeah, so when can we expect a signed contract? Throw a few positives around at meetings, and watch your paycheck grow.
Post Mortem
A meeting or series of meetings to discuss the outcome of a project. Meant to collect ideas for process improvement, it usually ends up as an exercise in finger-pointing. Adapted from medical terminology.
Doing something without being told. This is such a rare assertion of individual initiative that the very word has a mystical aura about it, much like "holy grail."
Leaving your humanity at the door.
profit center
Something that makes money and generally does it over and over again with little effort to keep the dough rolling in. A fat bald corporate tool's wet dream.

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