: destroying corporate double talk, daily.
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Now serving 12 total piles of Trash-ology and growing. Viewing at a time.
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Car park nosing
Parking next to a senior manager in the car park so that when you get out, you have a chance to brown nose him/her and comment on how nice his/her car looks. Also leads to fake banter on the way into the office that encourages corporate laughter.
corporate laughter
Over emphasized laughing of the fake variety. No manager or superior is ever that funny. Get of hold of yourself. Keep your ass-kissing to your own private time. No need to let everyone know you're dick sucking with your loud ear piercing laughter.
corporate name dropping
People do this when they know they are asking for too much, in order to grease the wheels. The dropped names usually involve senior directors and above or people from outside the organization. "Hi Chris, I'm Max Planque and I'm working with Josh Hartnet of Finance, and we are planning on implementing with Michael Praeger, the COO something which will benefit Bill Stewart of Corporate which will involve the Brenda A. Carlyle Foundation. Do you have about 15 minutes? So what I need from you is..."
corporate running
Inexplicable running in the office. Obviously unnecessary and usually done by the most unathletic people. If you're running to kiss ass, it will still be there when you get there. Slow down.
corporate trash geyser
Someone in the office who is always good for at least one piece, if not a whole string, of corporate vomit every time they open their cake crusher.
Dog & Pony Show
A staged presentation or briefing arranged to provide Projeet Managers and Business Owners with an opportunity to pat themselves on the back. Also, a presentation that is overly contrived and who's preparation steals time away from working on actual project deliverables.
meat puppet
a spineless corporate twit aka empty suit. no original thoughts that he will ever admit to if they are counter to what the boss says.
meat puppet maxi pad
a list of excuses the meat puppet uses to cover his own ass at the expense of others. just list your excuses on the maxi pad and apply over your pants. absorbs all criticism and blame for use against an underling.
In programming, No-Op is an instruction to tell the processor to literally do nothing. Can also be used to describe a co-worker who never seems to actually DO anything.
Behaviour displayed by a manager senior to yourself when they are looking for a subordinate to administer a healthy dollop of brown nosing. (similar to a peacock displaying its arse by ruffling its feathers and displaying to all)
Sand Bagging
In a goal-setting exercise, picking goals you either already have achieved or know you can achieve quite easilly.
Sunshine Club
Attitude police who, when they aren't brown nosing, are sniffing around looking for information on people with "bad" attitudes. They take the info to the office manager for their doggie treat. Members of the attitude police are generally not competent workers, so they compensate by being rat finks.

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